Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Confession....

I am terrified.

My official "guess date" (as one of my friends calls it) is April 17. So we're 12 days away. Curly Boy was 12 days early. We're in range. Any day now, we'll be the parents of three!

And last night, as Mr. Curly and I talked it over, we suddenly realized - we are going to be the parents of THREE!!! What were we thinking? TWO BOYS?! Curly Boy was 2 shelves off the ground in a store the other day before I could grab him. Curly Girl has started making shopping lists which she wants to fulfill every time we're at the store.

I am terrified.

I'm terrified of labor. I was scared with Curly Girl - I had never had a baby before. But 8 hours of labor (3 after the water broke), 30 minutes of pushing (sorry if it's TMI for some of you) and I was a momma. Not just any momma, but the momma to the most beautiful girl I have ever yet to meet.

And Curly Boy? 3 hours labor, 9 minutes of pushing and I had a son. The smartest, most handsome son anyone could ask for. He has the best grin.

But this baby? I have no idea what the delivery process will be like. Fast or slow? I hope fast - as fast or faster than Curly Boy. I'm terrified it will be slow. Slow, like 12 hours or more, complications and IVs and all sorts of things I don't want.

I didn't even have an IV with Curly Boy - no time. And no pain meds with either kid. I want to do that again. This is the last one for us - so I really want to be strong and make it through.

But will I? No idea.

So, yeah, my TMI confession of the day.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You will do fine! You have done it twice before and did great!!

Love you

Rachel said...

I think there's a lot of natural anxiety that comes along with pregnancy...no matter which one you are on! Each pregnancy (and therefore labor) is apparently different...and not something you can really prepare for which it makes it so scary. BUT, I think it can also be really exciting to think about each kiddo having their own unique story of how they entered the world.


And should you desire any pain medication, it doesn't make you any less "strong." As a friend of mine says, "there is no such thing as a special place in heaven for women who don't get epidurals." :)

Do what you need to get through and make it memorable for you!

Curly-T said...

My mother suggested I get an epidural as well to help me stay calm.

Except that I almost vomit at the idea of the IV, so the idea of an epidural needle actually makes me hyperventilate a little....

I don't do it so much to prove anything to anyone, as much as my terror of pointy metal objects is greater!