How Can You Read This?

I am a voracious reader, and have been for as long as I can remember. I slowed down a bit in college, slowed down more when Curly Girl and Boy arrived, but now, I'm picking up steam again. I like to read about 1 book a week, though it is more often 1 book a month.

And I read across several different genres. I won't claim to get absolutely everything in, but I do alright. My favorite are mysteries and biographies. Yep.

There is one genre I have shied away from though - advice and self-help books. Whether they are on marriage, parenting, pregnancies, how to stop chewing your nails, how to make a million dollars in a day, how to anything, I don't read them.

I've always maintained if there is something I think I need to fix in my life, then I, with God's help, will fix it. I get irritated just reading book jackets in the self-help section in which one book says "do it this way" and another says "do it that way" and a third says "do it both ways even though they are complete opposites and cancel each other out!"

However, every once in awhile, even I, with my extreme desire to do it myself and reach those high, perfectionistic goals I have set, have to admit that maybe an outside perspective would be good.

It is why I started reading 7 Ways To Be A SMARTER Mom (though I never got past chapter 4, something that still bothers me. It is why I tried to read Having a Mary Heart In A Martha World (before I got too busy and couldn't finish it - ironic, I know).

And it is why I ordered myself three books on Thursday: The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman (this has been recommended to me for years, and if I like it, I will most likely buy The Five Love Languages for Children as well), Love & War by John & Staci Eldredge (though not a John Eldredge fan at first, I love his book EPIC), and The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick (because I rather enjoyed the movie Fireproof and want to see more about this book and it isn't something you borrow from the library, since there is a journal section and all).

I've been married eight years now. I have three kids. And life is a lot different than it was when I promised to love, honor and cherish Mr. Curly until death do us part. And so I'm hoping, through expanding my knowledge through some new reading, to gain new knowledge and understanding that will make me worthy to stay and love Mr. Curly until death parts us.

I'll let you know what I think.

Post title from Beauty and the Beast

A, B, C, it's easy as 1,2,3....

Have you ever thought about how you learn before? Mr. Curly and I used to have the conversation in college. I learn through reading and listening, I don't need to see it and I don't need to touch it. Unless it's a car or wood working project, then I need to see it. But otherwise, talk to me or let me read a book. Mr. Curly is very much a tactile learner. He wants to touch it, take it apart, put it back together, look at it from all angles. He likes pictures and just plain words are not a fun way for him to learn (can you imagine the struggle he had in seminary?)

I haven't really thought about it since then, until a couple of months ago during a Saturday lunch. Most Saturdays, the Curly household gathers on the couch for lunch to enjoy a bit of TV and a sandwhich. It's a nice break from the table.

This particular Saturday, we were watching a documentary on rockets. During one segment, there was a man in an empty room talking about the cameras they put on rockets and spaceships to get film footage. Curly Girl was quiet during the segment, then during the commerical says "They put cameras on the planes. To take pictures when the planes go REAL HIGH!"

Mr. Curly and I could hardly respond. We had no idea she was following what the man was saying. I mean, there were no brightly colored puppets acting it out!
But I watched Curly Girl after that, and thought about how she had learned in the past.

Curly Girl is cautious. She doesn't do much without seeing someone else do it first, or thinking carefully about how it will work. It has been a struggle to get her to attempt new things (balance beams, slides, trampolines, walking....) Usually though, after she has thought about it, and maybe watched someone, or we've had a discussion, she tries something new. And if she gets it, then she wants to do it again and again and again.
She loves to read and look at books, and she's a talker. I can explain what we're going to do, without showing her, and she gets it.
I think she learns a lot like me.

Curly Boy, well, he learns like his daddy. I can't figure out yet if it is his age, or that he's a boy. He doesn't put things in his mouth (hasn't since about the time we introduced sippy cups and straws), but he has to touch everything! And it's not enough for me to say "That square won't fit in a round hole" he has to try it himself. And become frustrated when it doesn't fit. The look of surprise on his face when it doesn't work is priceless. Or, he does get something too big through, and then he works to get it out. And he will work at something until he can figure it out, and then claps because he is SO SMART!!

I'm proud of that. I'm proud of his ability to work until he can figure something out.
I'm equally proud of Curly Girl's ability to think something through until she is certain it will or will not work and then act.
There is merit in both.

Now I just have to figure out how to teach a tactile learner, because teaching a child who learns through reading and listening is easy for me, but tactile.... well, that will take some research.

Frizzy Discipline

Welcome to the Weekly Taming of the Frizz! This week's frizziness: Discipline.

Have you ever heard this phrase before? You're not wrong, you're just different.

It has it's place. When answering philosophical or ethical questions "you're not wrong, you just come from a different view point...." is not bad to hear.

But I've heard this in regards to disciplining children. I used to babysit for a lady who told her youngest son this all the time. When he roller bladed out into the middle of the road and almost got hit by a car, as she was pulling in the driveway, she told him "You're not wrong, you're just different, but nobody is going to understand that, so you need to learn to play by the world's rules."

I couldn't believe it. I had a hard time as a child with being perceived as different. As a pastor's kid, I was always different. I didn't want to be different, I wanted to be normal. I can imagine the effect it would have had on me if my parents had instilled in me the thought that "I'm just different and nobody will understand that."

At the Curly household, we tell our kids no. Most of the time, my children understand we mean no, but lately, Curly Girl has been pushing this boundary (she's 3, I expected it).

I've read many arguments against using the word no. That telling a child no, is in essence, telling the child they are doing wrong, that they are bad and unworthy. I have issues with this. If I don't want my children digging in the potted plants, and I have tried redirection and they continue to throw potting soil on the floor I say "No, this is not something we do." If they are playing on the stairs, and people are trying to navigate the stairs, I say "no, we do not play on the stairs while people are going up and down."

Do you think this will warp my kids? Do you think they will grow up feeling as if they are always wrong and doing bad things? I hope not. I hope that I am preparing them for a world where there are certain rules we follow, and where the word no is often uttered. God has given us rules, and tells us no, why shouldn't I?

Redirection is powerful, and we use it often in the Curly household, more often than the word no, in fact. But I do believe there are times when our children should hear "No, this is not acceptable."

We are trying to instill patience and the importance of sharing in our children. This, I believe, is God's way of growing my patience. I cannot figure out how to teach Curly Girl to wait until Curly Boy is done with a toy and at the same time, teach Curly Boy to share. Honestly, there are times when the one who yells the loudest wins.

For right now, I am taking the advice of the Curly Kids' Granddad and Daddy via the Bible:
Matthew 5:37 "Simply let your yes be yes, and your no, no"
and
Deuteronomy 6:4-8 "Hear, oh Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates."

For more Taming of the Frizz, see here.

I know the upside to downsizing and the downside to upgrading....

Things are going to get a little odd come October. See, in October, Mr. Curly begins his new pastoral position at a church in Iowa.

Only, we can't officially move there until we sell our house here. It's only 2.5 hours away from where we currently call home, and the church has provided us with a house here.

That's where things get kind of sticky. Currently, we live in a 2-story 4 bedroom, 2 bath, with a laundry room, family room and formal room 1912 farmhouse dreamhome. I LOVE this house. And I say HOUSE on purpose, because since we've moved in, it has been in a constant state of remodeling, so it never really became home. Curly Boy's room was a storage room until 2 months before he arrived. We never have used the formal sitting room, and my piano, tucked into the entryway, has been covered with remodeling tools and dust 75% of the time. There has never been a night where Mr. Curly and I sit and say "Wow, it's finally fully ours."

So leaving it, selling it, isn't too horrible. It's just the DOWNSIZING that scares me.

The parsonage (pastor's home owned by the church) is nice. It's a three bedroom, 1 bath home built sometime between 1910 and 1920. What was once probably a formal parlor (it has pocket doors) has been converted into a front bedroom (thus the three bedrooms). The front room is HUGE, as they took a covered porch and made it an official part of the interior home.

The bedrooms for the kids will be bigger, and yet seem somehow smaller than what they are in currently, but I think that is a shape issue. And really, I've only been in this parsonage twice very briefly.

I think the downsizing will be good. Yes, Mr. Curly (and subsequently I) will lose a home office, but Mr. Curly will have an office in the church. It will be good for him to get out of the house. And with such a huge front room, I can partion a corner for my desk and files.

I think downsizing will be good. It will ensure that we stay organized and clean. That all files are put away at the end of the day, that toys are regularly sorted for what really needs to be kept, and what hasn't been played with for ages.

I think downsizing will be good. The kitchen is much smaller, but that means less counters to gather clutter (a problem for me, I'm a piler). There is a great pantry with cabinets and shelves that I am actually very excited about organizing.

I think downsizing will be good. Except, I'm losing an awesome laundry room. My laundry room currently holds my washer/dryer, a dresser full of sewing supplies, a crafting table, shelves full of games, scrapbooking supplies, memory boxes and toys of "when I'm older" for my kids. I do lament the loss of my laundry room.

I think downsizing will be good. We will have a gorgeous dining room, and a bathroom that is actually normal sized instead of a bedroom that was converted to a bathroom when indoor plumbing became big. The parsonage bathroom, like our current bathroom, has the door to the walk up attic in it. Only, they've added shelves and towel racks in the stairwell for more storage.

I think downsizing will be good. I just have to have a discerning and editorial eye while packing and sorting and deciding what we absolutely need.

I think downsizing will be good. I think downsizing will be good. I think downsizing will be good. I think downsizing will be good. I think downsizing will be good. Won't it?



Post Title from "George Carlin: Life is Worth Losing."

I want some questions! Now!

"I think you mean answers." "Yes, answers, thank you."

This is not the post I promised earlier this morning. That will hopefully be coming tomorrow. This is just something I need to ask -

Do you ever feel so lost that you don't even know what questions to ask, much less where to find the answers?

I'm right there with you.

The daily devotional delivered to my inbox this morning had this quote from O. Hallesby:
"When you enter your secret chamber, take plenty of time before you begin to speak. Let quietude wield its influence on you. Let the fact that you are alone assert itself. Give your soul time to get released from the many outward things. Give God time to play the prelude to prayer for the benefit of your distracted soul."

I struggle with finding a quiet place where I can forget everything that needs to be done in order to have quality prayer time.

So here is my question: in a time where you are more busy than ever, how do you find the quiet time? Where do you go to escape from everything that needs to be done? And once there, how do you get your mind to shut out all its distractions so God can speak?

Title and beginning quotes from The Corpse Bride.

They're huge and they're sting crazy!

Otherwise Titled:

How to Stop Bug Bites

or

New Uses for Hand Sanitizer

Here in my little corner of the world, we've had more water then the ground knows what to do with. With standing, stagnant water in the ditches and still in some fields since April, the mosquitos are making quite a run at taking over the world.

At the beginning of summer weather, we could throw down some bug granules, or spray the yard with bug spray and enjoy many hours outside. Soon, we were adding bug spray. At first, just homemade bug spray (1 tbsp vanilla with 1 cup water - spritz away, smell good, be bug-free). Then we added Cutter Family (deet free for the babies) spray on top of the vanilla.
Now, the mosquitos have become immune. It doesn't matter if you have 2 different types of bug killer on your as-short-as-you-can-mow-it grass with 3 layers of bug spray on and citronella candles burning everywhere, they are going to find you and suck your blood.

Mosquitos - the true vampires of the world (next to the vampire bats).

Mr. Curly ignores bug bites, he's completely impervious to them. Curly Boy seems to have inherited this trait. Curly Girl and I, not so much. Our bug bites grow whether acknowledged or not. And I have absolutely no ability whatsoever to ignore a bug bite. I scratch them until they're huge; I scratch them until they're open; I scratch as they heal.

Curly Girl cries at night that she wants to take her bug bites off before she goes to bed. We bought a benadryl spray because she doesn't like to have hydrocortisone cream on her skin. Mr. Curly suggest aftershave, as the alcohol will kill the itch, but it can burn as well and we don't want to hurt her!

I, however, rather appreciate the burn after scratching open a bug bite, but I don't want to go around smelling like men's aftershave (even though Mr. Curly smells wonderful). So I have turned to hand sanitizer. The cheap stuff is basically alcohol only, the more expenisive stuff adds a nice scent to it. So when I find myself scratching uncontrollably, I break out the sanitizer, dab some on, and grit my teeth through the burn. I figure I'm getting a two-fold use out of it - no more itchy bug bites, and I'm disinfecting/cleaning the area in the process.

What do you do for irritating bug bites? Any other ways to keep yourself from buggy scars?

And if you're interested in more mosquito rants, simply google "mosquito vampire".

Title from Tommy Boy

Stand in the Place Where You Are

Curly Boy turned 15 months old on July 15. This child, who can practically climb a flat wall, sees no reason to walk on his own. He does walk, while holding someone's hand, or a couch, or push toy. He can step over branches that reach above his knees while holding someone's hand. He can step out of a bubble at the Burger King PlayPlace, even when it is too tall for his little legs.

But walking on his own? Well, that's just not necessary. He crawls as fast as his big sister walks, so what's the point of being on your feet?

Last night, however, we believe he had an epiphany. He can stand without touching anything for several minutes! The look on his face was fantastic and I whipped out the camera, just as he realized he could also fall backwards and Daddy would catch him. That was way more fun than just standing!

After the novelty of falling into Daddy's arms wore off, we encouraged him to take steps without holding onto anyone. He did one and then fell forward into my arms.

I've had people tell me that Curly Girl didn't walk until 17 months old because she didn't HAVE to walk, that I was too willing to carry her from room to room, and to hold and cuddle her. What most of them don't realize is the from the day Curly Girl took her first step, she never fell down. There was no toddling, no falling, it was straight out walking like she had done it forever. She was either very cautious (not wanting to get hurt) or very proud (not wanting to let us see her make a mistake).

Curly Boy has started bear crawling over rocks, wood chips, and other surfaces he doesn't want his knees on. I'm thinking now that he realized he can stand, we're going to be chasing the world's fastest toddler-spiderman, wondering where our baby-crawler went.

Until that moment comes, any suggestions on how to get the fastest crawler monkey to stand and walk?

"Stand" by REM