Saturday, October 2, 2010

She's somebody's hero....

You know, I don't want to be uber super mom. I don't want to be the fabulous mother in the clean clothes, perfect hair, perfect make-up, with the clean kids doing the grocery shopping on a Saturday afternoon in heels.

But I also don't want to be the mom run ragged, covered in baby spit and peanut butter, gulping down food before the kids are awake, pulling my hair out because I never have a minute to myself, and when I do have that minute there are too many chores to be done to enjoy it.

I have a great life and great kids. And I love how "scheduled" and "restricting" (I like to say organized, but those aren't the words others use) my day to day life is. I like coming home from work and cooking dinner with my babies at my feet because they've missed me that day (and frankly, Mr. Curly needs a moment to himself to get his work together for the evening). I like that we have dinner as a family at the table at 6:00 or 6:30, play time until 7:30 when it's baths and bed. I like that I spend from 8:00 to 9:00 each night working on house stuff, and then get an hour with Mr. Curly before hitting the sack myself to be up at 6:30 and start all over again.

So why do I feel guilty when mothers look at me and say "How do you eat all at the same time?" "Why do you cook every night?" Why do I feel guilty that my kids roll playdough out on the table as I pick up dinner dishes instead of sitting with them? We talk while this happens, we sing songs, I make snakes in between gathering spoons and glasses.
And yet, when I tell people I work full time and clean while my children are awake, I get looked at like my children must be the most neglected ever.

But you know what? My children LOVE me. They LOVE Thursday night "well begun is half done" nights. We skip baths, and spend the time after supper until bedtime playing in either Curly Boy or Curly Girl's room, picking up toys, finding lost puzzle pieces, organizing clothes, whatever it needs. My children don't see this as cleaning, this is one on one time with Mama in their own special place.

My profile says I'm striving to be a 1950's housewife for a reason. I LIKE cooking for my family, doing the dishes and laundry. I like saying at the end of the day "Look at what you accomplished. Work, food, kids, clothes. I am woman, hear me roar!" Ok, so I never actually say that last statement, but I feel good about myself at the end of the day.

So, if I feel good about myself at the end of the day, why do I feel so guilty about it the next day when talking to friends and family? What is so wrong with wanting to be the full-time working housewife?

Yes, I look forward to the day when I can stay at home with my kids, but for now, I enjoy balancing it all. So why do I feel guilty when others say "I just can't do it all and you're crazy for trying?"

I don't expect others to do it all. There is plenty I leave behind (visit my house unannounced and unplanned someday, you'll see). But don't make me feel bad that I believe that as a wife, I should cook and clean for my family, no matter how many hours I work outside the home.

It was the example I was raised with; my mother is the most amazing person ever.
We were organized, we had dinner at 6:30 every night and a clean house every morning when we woke up.
Because my mother found it important.
And I never lacked for time with her.

And I'm just striving to be the same way.

Is that so wrong?

Post title from Jamie O'Neals "Somebody's Hero"

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