Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Mothers always love their daughters, even if they're poor at showing it.

Weekly Taming of the Frizz. See here for more and here for an explanation.

Oh my goodness I hope Curly Girl grows up knowing I love her. I hope it's what helps her through those tough times in life like knowing my mom loves me has helped me.

The other night Curly Girl just lost it. From 6:45 to 7:00 she cried. And she started crying again at 7:20. So we went home. Both kids were in bed by 7:45. And then the stalling started. Curly Girl had to go potty, she needed a drink, she didn't like her pajamas, she needed clean sheets, there was a never ending list of reasons why she thought she shouldn't have to go to sleep.

I have to admit, I was not having a good night myself. I was tired and my head hurt and her crying had frayed my last nerve. Mr. Curly was out being a pastor, doing his job. At 8:30, Curly Girl said she had to go to the bathroom.

I sat her on the toilet, and she pointed out her bugbites. They needed "Daddy's medicine" (aftershave, stops the itch, smells good). Then she pointed out my bug bites. Then she wanted me to leave. I told her to go potty, she told me to leave.
I'll admit it, I yelled. "If you don't go potty right now, you're getting a spanking!" She told me to leave again. I responded "I am your mother, you don't tell me what to do. Now GO POTTY!"

In a very serious tone, Curly Girl said "Don't scream, Mama. Don't yell."
That toned me down a bit. More calm I said "Go potty now."
"Don't scream, Mama."
Now I'm whispering, "Go potty."
"Don't scream, I don't like it."

I counted to ten. I pulled her off the toilet and put her to bed, while she cried that she still had to go. We're probably lucky we didn't have an accident that night.

I didn't think about it much until Mr. Curly got home and I was telling him about it. And then I felt awful. All evening we had been telling Curly Girl she didn't need to cry, she didn't need to yell. We understood she was upset, but she needed to stay calm and be quiet. And what did I do? I yelled, I lost my temper.

I hate learning lessons from my daughter. I should be the one teaching her, not the other way around.
Next time she's stalling bedtime though, I think I'll count to ten a bit sooner. And whisper when I feel like shouting. Because I want Curly Girl growing up knowing I love her. No, not just knowing, but seeing it every day.

Ephesians 6:4 says "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

I think it's good for mothers too.

Title Quote from Hope Floats.

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