Monday, August 2, 2010

Ha! You're Gonna Burn! (lessons in cooking).

If you ask Mr. Curly while I'm present about my cooking skills, he'll chuckle and say "She does alright. I haven't lost any weight since we got married!" At home, he teases even more. Whenever I want to try something new, he'll say, "Let me guess, it has pasta and a cream soup in it."

Now, to be fair, some of my favorite recipes start with pasta and a cream of something soup, but there are so many varieties it's crazy!

However, this post is about the time I started my stove on fire, two days after the actual cooking disaster began.

It was chilly outside, so I thought I would make some soup. Mr. Curly has an aunt that sells Tastefully Simple, so every once in awhile, we get packages of food. Tonight's menu - baked chicken, with Tastefully Simple's Wild Rice soup. I was even going to make cheddar biscuits!

The soup said it needed to simmer (not boil) for at least 30 minutes, so I popped the chicken in the oven, and started the soup. Now, the box stressed that it was important that soup not boil. "No problem." I thought. "I'll watch it, it will never boil."

It started out so good. Pour in the water, wisk in the soup mix. Stir and watch, stir and watch. Heating but not boiling. "What was that, Curly Girl? You need milk? Here, honey." Stir and watch. "Curly boy! What are you doing?" (At this point he wasn't crawling, but it didn't stop him from pulling videos on top of his head.) Pick up the videos, run back to the kitchen just in time to see boiling rice soup flow up and over the rim of the pot.

Wild rice soup is now scorched to the bottom of my pan, burnt beyond eating. There are degrees of burnt, you know, some are edible, some are not. It's like being mostly dead.
I dumped the soup, made some plain rice, and the meal turned out ok.

Two days later, after the pot had soaked and been scrubbed, I went back to the stove top to brown some hamburger or something. I can't even tell you what now, I just know I had my pan out. Things are going great and all of a sudden - FLAMES!! Jumping at least a foot high into the air all around my pan.

I move the pan, beat out the flames, shut off the fire alarm. Mr. Curly is consoling the children and asks "What happened?"
I have no idea. All I know is my burner on my electric stove STARTED ON FIRE.

I found out months later that rice is highly flammable. Probably, because I didn't clean my burner or its little catch tin after the rice overflowed, the 2 day old rice soup that was burning off spontaneously combusted.

It was the first (and so far, thankfully the last) time I ever burnt something twice.

The title comes from Audio Adrenaline's Houseplant Song from their Underdog album.

UPDATE: Changed title from "Ha! You're Going to Burn" to "HA! You're GONNA Burn" on 8/4 to be more in line with the song lyrics, per Mr. Curly.

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