Monday, December 2, 2013

Great Acoustics - The Bane of My Existence

This event actually happened before Thanksgiving, but I didn't have a chance to blog then, so here is our story now.

It was the community Thanksgiving service, held at St. Joseph Catholic church.  This was our second attendance, and we already knew it was mainly an older generation service, but we took the whole family anyway.  If Mr. Curly is going to be part of the local ministerial association, than our family is going to participate in local community church events.  Right?  Right.

I should've known it was going to be bad when I herded my three young curly kids into the side entrance where we were greeted by a statue of Jesus.  "They have a Jesus statute here!" Curly Girl exclaimed.  Curly Boy found it pretty amazing too, pointing out the holes in Jesus's hand to Curly Boy 2 (who might start being called Non-Curly, but that's another post).

We made it to, well, in our church we call it the foyer, where we greeted some other pastor friends.  Curly Boy commented on the "stink" of the church - it was either incense or air freshener, I really couldn't tell.  We were waiting for Mr. Curly to park the car and join us.
He finally made it in, and we went into the sanctuary to find a seat, only Mr. Curly got stopped by another pastor.

So I was left with 3 small children who had never been in a Catholic church before and were suddenly met with the holy water fountain.  And huge stained glass windows, and the stations of the cross.  And the best acoustics you will ever find.
"Look, a fountain!"
"Yook, yook, water!"
"Where are the fish?"
"See how the water falls, momma?"
"See those windows! They're huge!"
"What is that statue thing on the wall?"
"Mom - you gotta see this place!!" (this last one was my particularly amazed 2 year old)

I finally shepherded them into the last row, well, second to last row, the last row is for handicap access.  I hushed them, Mr. Curly came in where it started all over.
"Have you seen this?  What are these?  Look at the water!" (Thankfully they didn't see the Catholics blessing themselves with the water, that would've been a whole new thing to exclaim over!)

Have you been in a Catholic church?  A whisper carries all the way to the front.  Well, my children were NOT whispering.  Which means every single person in the place heard all those announcements.

Including when Curly Boy 2 wanted to run the aisles, when he needed to go pee and poop, when Curly Girl complained that the church was too big and she couldn't see the person talking....
And to top it off, Curly Boy was bored so he counted the lights, much like his father once did during a concert of Handel's Messiah that I dragged him too.

I know, I know, they're kids.  Pastor's kids at that, which means they are particularly comfortable in a church building.  And they had never been in a Catholic church before.  But I'm pretty sure I looked like the perfect Christmas ornament with my green shirt and bright red face.

Other titles considered for this blog post:
1. Why I Will Never Go To A Catholic Church Again
2. Why yes, those are the pastor's kids swimming in the holy water
3. Gee, can't you tell we're from a small protestant church?

No comments: