I am NOT a crier. In public anyway. Mr. Curly will tell you that. My biggest irritant on reality shows is how much everybody cries! You're on TV - pull it together! Or, as my mom likes to quote "Put on your big girl panties and deal with it!"
I do NOT let people see me cry. I do my best not to let people see me get angry, because inevitably, the anger causes tears. I try to remain calm, even somewhat humorous in tough situations.
Other people can cry, that is fine (except those tv reality people, come on, now!). Sometimes people need to cry. I just like to stay more in control of myself.
It seems lately though, that crying is my default. I think about Curly Girl starting preschool, I cry. I watch my boys (BOYS, I don't really have a baby anymore....) play together and it brings tears to my eyes. I watch Mary Poppins and I cry. I lose it at my kids because I'm telling them for the 10th time to PLEASE PICK UP YOUR BOOKS and I cry. I see my husband tossing the kids around after work and I cry.
I've always felt that whatever emotion you have the most of, is the one that will come to the surface during high emotional times. Which is why these tears bother me so much.
I am NOT sad. And I don't want to be crying all the time when I'm trying to convince my kids THEY don't need to cry over every little thing ("i can't find a pen" "my tv show is over" "the books have to go back to the library" "i love this song").
My life is very very blessed. I told the Curly Kids this last night (as they whined about not having juice with their fajitas, that they didn't want to eat because they were sure they didn't like them): We have a blessed life. We have all the food we need, we have plenty of clean clothes to wear that fit us. We have a nice house, we have an awesome yard to play in. Daddy has TWO jobs, even Momma has a job! We have family and friends that love us. We have a God who provides. We do NOT need to whine over inconsequential little things. You don't need juice tonight - we're going out for ice cream after this for Daddy's birthday. So here's the deal - I'll remind you of all the good things when you are crying for no reason, and you do the same for me, ok? When I'm angry, or frustrated, or crying over something silly - you remind me of something good, and together we'll help each other be more happy."
I think Curly Boy actually got it - because when I was frustrated over putting the train track together for the 15th time (Curly Baby is trying to learn how it works, which means pulling it apart... a lot), Curly Boy looked at me, smiled and said "I love you, Mom."
You guessed it - tears.
*Sigh* Maybe it's an aging thing....