Saturday, July 21, 2012

I want my stapler back.

*Disclaimer* This is a ranting blog


Do you realize, in the past 3 weeks I've come across 2 people who have published books since I left college?
Do you realize I've wanted to publish a book since I was 12?!
And that I've been working on a book for nearly 5 years now?!

To top it off, one now published author graduated college with me and is writing HISTORY books - which is exactly what I wanted to do when I graduated college, but instead I took an office job to support Mr. Curly and I while he went to seminary.

I'm just annoyed.

I know, I know.  If I want to write, I should do it.  I should stay up until the wee hours in the morning and live off of caffeine so I can stay awake during the day with my kids and yet still get to do what I've wanted to do for over 15 years now.

I know, I know.  If I want to write, I should do more than blog.  I should blog for a newspaper (I know 2 people who do that, one is not a published book author), I should write op-ed pieces, and spend days in historical research rooms at public libraries.

I know what I SHOULD do.  I know what I WANT to do.
What I want to know is why when I do sit down to write, my  motivation leaves.
What I want to know is why I've had a really great idea for five years and just can't get it done.
What I want to know is why I can come up with really good beginnings of novels that fall apart in the middle.
What I want to know if why every time I come up with a phenomenal historical event to write about, Mr. Curly moves me another remote scholarly barren area to live.

Writing is HARD.  I know that.  Which might be why it annoys me even more that I'm starting to see people my age, some also with children, doing what I've wanted to do since sixth grade.


As it is, I have to go now.  So I can go shopping to buy things to decorate my church nursery.  I suppose that is a form of art and creativity.  But I sure wish I was writing.

Post Title from The Office.


Rick said...

Is it possible you aren't willing to make the shift to your create-state because you know you will be alone- that you will have to cut yourself off from your family? Not physically, but mentally? That if you're story is important it needs total creative focus and you don't want to give that because you're afraid you won't come back or that you'll change?

I know you were just ranting, but I don't think there's any such thing as Writer's Block. It's a feel good excuse way of saying it's not our fault. But it is. If it's not important enough to give it what it takes, then okay just don't do it. People that love you will still love you. Give it up because you're too stubborn to give it your total focus.

I used to feel guilty losing two hours forgetting I had a family while I was writing. That was my problem, not theirs. They accepted what I did as who I was.

Just a thought. But maybe you feel guilty or afraid and that's why you're not getting it done.

You write so well that you've clearly got the talent to be a huge success. Your writing is personable, smart, funny and interesting. I'm thinking you should get to work writing.

That way those of us who visit your blog can say we know someone famous.

Curly-T said...

Good thoughts, Rick!

I don't believe I have writer's block - lots of good ideas!
Just an inability to lose myself for 2 hours. I have a 4, 3 and 1 year old. I do most my writing while they're napping, if they nap.

Maybe it will come when they're all in school? I can't see myself ignoring them for 2 hours, much less for a whole day.

But good thoughts and I appreciate the encouragements and the complimetns!

Rachel said...

Go back and read your blog post from a few days ago. If a writing a book is in your future, it will happen. Trust God's timing & location...and your current calling. There is purpose and value in your days now---don't lose sight of that because of something that isn't happening...yet. :) We'll get our books written....someday