Mr. Curly and I attended a Ministers and Mates Retreat last week. This is basically 2 days (starts Tuesday evening, ends Thursday at noon) where pastors from the Iowa district get together to relax. We had 3 worship sessions, and one "Break out" time where the pastor's got together for team building, and the spouses got together to be themselves!
Honestly, the best time I had was Wednesday afternoon. After 1:00 pm we were free for the entire day.
And for the entire day, I did nothing.
We laid around the hotel, sat in the hot tub, went swimming, had ice cream for supper. I didn't pick up one toy, feed one child, do one dish or chore. It was miraculous.
But the best thing I learned was sometimes life doesn't have to be so frizzy. Sometimes, we bring that frizz upon ourselves, and if we would just change our view, things could be a lot more tame.
Like when we feel guilty for telling our kids that we have to share Daddy, or that there are events at church we need to be at. Our kids our blessed to be a pastoral family, and they will make of it what we make of it. Which means, as long as our kids know they are our second love (God being first), it is ok to be involved in the church, to sometimes have to have a babysitter so you can do a ministry, to share Daddy on Sundays.
And if we would learn to be a listening board instead of a sounding board, our pastor-husbands would be a lot more willing to share the stress of their calling. This is hard for me, because I really want to fix things, to say "Well, you tell me what so-and-so said and I'll just go talk to them." But that isn't going to help Mr. Curly.
So my focus is now to be a supportive listening board and to focus on making being the pastoral family fun (the way it was when I was growing up).
It's amazing. Shift your paradigm, focus on God and family, and this life can be a lot more smooth.