Ok, so the title is a complete lie. I do know about birthing babies, I've done it twice before. But there are a few things I don't know. I mentioned them yesterday in this post, but I'll expound here.
I don't know anything about caring for a baby full time after the 6 week mark.
When Curly Girl was born, I went back to work when she was 6 weeks old. And for 6 weeks I worked. Then we moved, and I was home for about a month, and then went back to work.
It was a nice arrangement. I came home at lunch to feed her, I took care of her in the evenings and through the night, but Mr. Curly had a bulk of the day where he was her primary caretaker.
And I was completely ok with that.
When Curly Boy was born, I went back to work when he was just 4 weeks old. In retrospect, that was a huge mistake. He was already struggling with nursing, I was struggling with sleep and a slight depression (which we really didn't name then, but can see it for what it is now). He had acid reflux and was so little and I had a huge guilt complex.
Suddenly, full on mom-mode kicked in and I wanted nothing more than to be home with my babies. And I think Mr. Curly wanted me home. Dealing with a toddler and an infant while trying to be a full time pastor wasn't easy.
But you know, my kids are super awesome BECAUSE Mr. Curly was the one who was home. They sit at the table until everyone is done eating, they take their plates to the sink, they say please and thank you and you're welcome, they pick up their toys, they (usually) don't protest naps, they share nicely, they listen in public (most the time) and are just in general incredibly funny, sweet, loving, generous, awesome kids.
Unlike Mr. Curly, I give in to demands and tears quite easily. I've always said it's because I don't see them that often, but really, I'm just a mamby-pamby pushover.
And now Curly Baby is on the way and I FINALLY get the chance to be home! I'm SO excited and terrified all at the same time. I've never cared for a child 24/7. I've never been the one in control of their daytime schedule, or their discipline and learning.
Mr. Curly and I are both pretty sure Curly Baby will be a terror because of me. We joke about it, but there's an element of truth.
It's interesting. I am the successful (in my mind, which is where it matters) full -time working mom of two, and I'm terrified of having an infant around.
So you'll forgive me if I panic slightly and yell "But I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' babies!" when labor begins.