Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Blood drawn, crackers eaten....

I had my glucose test today. Yuck!

But good stuff first - Curly Baby's heartrate is good and was nice, strong and easy to find today. His movement is good. I've gained about 18 pounds and have 12.5 weeks to go. That weight gain is nice and normal and nobody but me is concerned. Hm.

I chose the orange glucose drink over the cola (thankfully they did NOT have grape like was offered with my first two babies). I sat for an hour reading, started to feel shaky at the thought of a needle, heartrate went up a bit, but once the blood was drawn and I was back in my doctor's office, my blood pressure was a nice and easy 106/76.

Along with the diabetes test, they will also be using my drawn blood to test for issues with my thyroid. Some first trimester emotional issues have returned. I had never mentioned them to my doctor before, but after crying over the fact that I just had no idea what to eat for dinner and feeling an anger and utter-hopelessness for several days, I thought it would be best to let my doctor know.

We talked about the stress of the weekends, the travelling, the trying to prepare for Curly Baby's birth but having no idea what city I will be in. We discussed my hair and nails and previous pregnancies. I ended with "I know in my head I am stronger than this, but I really just don't want to face things. It would be so much easier to sleep forever, and those thoughts scare me, because that is not who I am."

At this point in time, we'll see what my thyroid tests say. After that, it will be a matter of monitoring my emotional and mental state. I was urged to call my doctor if the feelings of hopelessness get stronger, or if I feel the need or desire to hurt someone or end either a) the pregnancy or b) my life.

While I feel rather weak and annoyed at letting things get to me this badly, I am more concerned for my children (born and unborn) and for the stress I put on Mr. Curly when I just don't care enough to try to function anymore. I do not want to put added stress on anybody, or put anybody in danger.

So, like millions of other mothers, we're monitoring. And we will all be ok.

That's the update!

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