Great Acoustics - The Bane of My Existence

This event actually happened before Thanksgiving, but I didn't have a chance to blog then, so here is our story now.

It was the community Thanksgiving service, held at St. Joseph Catholic church.  This was our second attendance, and we already knew it was mainly an older generation service, but we took the whole family anyway.  If Mr. Curly is going to be part of the local ministerial association, than our family is going to participate in local community church events.  Right?  Right.

I should've known it was going to be bad when I herded my three young curly kids into the side entrance where we were greeted by a statue of Jesus.  "They have a Jesus statute here!" Curly Girl exclaimed.  Curly Boy found it pretty amazing too, pointing out the holes in Jesus's hand to Curly Boy 2 (who might start being called Non-Curly, but that's another post).

We made it to, well, in our church we call it the foyer, where we greeted some other pastor friends.  Curly Boy commented on the "stink" of the church - it was either incense or air freshener, I really couldn't tell.  We were waiting for Mr. Curly to park the car and join us.
He finally made it in, and we went into the sanctuary to find a seat, only Mr. Curly got stopped by another pastor.

So I was left with 3 small children who had never been in a Catholic church before and were suddenly met with the holy water fountain.  And huge stained glass windows, and the stations of the cross.  And the best acoustics you will ever find.
"Look, a fountain!"
"Yook, yook, water!"
"Where are the fish?"
"See how the water falls, momma?"
"See those windows! They're huge!"
"What is that statue thing on the wall?"
"Mom - you gotta see this place!!" (this last one was my particularly amazed 2 year old)

I finally shepherded them into the last row, well, second to last row, the last row is for handicap access.  I hushed them, Mr. Curly came in where it started all over.
"Have you seen this?  What are these?  Look at the water!" (Thankfully they didn't see the Catholics blessing themselves with the water, that would've been a whole new thing to exclaim over!)

Have you been in a Catholic church?  A whisper carries all the way to the front.  Well, my children were NOT whispering.  Which means every single person in the place heard all those announcements.

Including when Curly Boy 2 wanted to run the aisles, when he needed to go pee and poop, when Curly Girl complained that the church was too big and she couldn't see the person talking....
And to top it off, Curly Boy was bored so he counted the lights, much like his father once did during a concert of Handel's Messiah that I dragged him too.

I know, I know, they're kids.  Pastor's kids at that, which means they are particularly comfortable in a church building.  And they had never been in a Catholic church before.  But I'm pretty sure I looked like the perfect Christmas ornament with my green shirt and bright red face.





Other titles considered for this blog post:
1. Why I Will Never Go To A Catholic Church Again
2. Why yes, those are the pastor's kids swimming in the holy water
3. Gee, can't you tell we're from a small protestant church?

Then BE here!

"If you're going to be here, then BE HERE!!" I remember yelling at Mr. Curly after a particularly horrible evening.
He had come home late, brought his computer.  I fixed supper, got it all on the table, and then got up every 2 minutes to get something else, to refill milk cups, to find napkins, to help cut up food.... I really don't remember eating.  And then after supper I cleared everything off the table (with help from the kids who are lovely about putting their plates in the sink). I cleaned up the kitchen mess. I halted Curly Boy 2's diaper change (this shows you how long ago it was) right in the middle to get Curly Boy to the toilet on time, while Curly Girl followed me around with dress up clothes needing help.  All evening all three kids needed ME and ME only ALL at the same time. I bathed the kids, helped them all dress, helped them all brush their teeth, read books, tucked them in.  Found water cups, re-tucked them in.  Found bears, re-tucked them in.  Finally got the dishes done (with interruptions from children who didn't want to sleep.).

All while Mr. Curly sat in his recliner, laptop open, ear buds in.

I was exhausted.  And furious.  And I took it out on my  husband.  And right before I stomped out of the living room to cry on our bed I yelled "You can't just sit on your butt all night playing games on your computer while I do everything.  I need help!  The kids need you!  If you're going to come home and 'be here' then BE HERE!!!"

I was completely exhausted and irrational.  Mr. Curly is a wonderful father, actively involved in our kids lives, always willing to step away from the office when I need help. But he had been particularly busy that week, with a large class to teach, and a new sermon series, and he had brought work home.


That was over a year ago.
I realized this past..... we'll say month, that I've been doing the exact same thing to Mr. Curly and his ministry here, and to God.

I grew up a pastor's kid.  We moved 5 times in the 20 years I was living at home.
I married Mr. Curly never expecting to stay in one place all that long.  When we moved to SD, Mr. Curly had a 15 year plan.  I couldn't foresee us being there more than 5 years.  We moved in 3 years.

So we came here to IA and I LOVE my town.  We have friends and a nice church.  It's the perfect size town to raise a family in.  I really, really don't want to leave it.

But my attic full of boxes says differently.
My reticence to put down roots says differently.
My lack of embracing a ministry at my church says differently.

I've been here, physically.  I've taken advantage of the comforts (fun days out with kids, convenience of shopping, safety of town), without giving anything back.  Without helping in the messy stuff (ministry, volunteering, reaching out, etc.)

If I'm going to be here, then I need to BE HERE.  And God has been telling me, and Mr. Curly that, loud and clear.

And things are going to change.

Why I Am Stepping Away from Ministry

Most of you will read that title and say "What?  She was in ministry?"

Well I was, kind of.  I have been playing for and leading the worship at church for a little while now.  At the beginning of the year, our previous pianist returned, so now more often than not, I'm just singing.
While most don't prefer to be led by someone sitting at the piano, if I have to sing, I prefer to hide behind my piano!

But now that no longer matters, because I won't be doing it after Easter.

We've changed the Sunday School format at church, so now there are only meetings for teens and adults.  Which means that when I take my three Curly Kids in the door for church, we scatter.  Curly Girl sets with one family, Curly Boy another, and then Curly Baby (who really should be renamed Curly Boy 2 since he's getting so grown up!) goes to sit with a nice lady who has really become a surrogate grandma for us.
Don't get me wrong, I love that my kids have people to sit with.  But it means that once the song portion of worship is over, and the kids head out to Children's church, we haven't been to church as a family at all.  And that bothers me.

My Curly Kids, as pastor's kids, are going to have to deal with a lot of unique issues growing up (believe me, I know).  But I don't believe that one of those things should be the only kid at church who can't sit with their own family.  While I'm at the piano, Mr. Curly is still pastor, the kids can't sit with him.  How are they going to learn to worship, to love, to serve, if they are always farmed out to others?

So after a long discussion (long long long, many months in the making), we have decided that I will step down from that particular ministry at church.  After Easter, when I take my children into the church, we will sit together as a family. 

I honestly think this is going to make church easier.  Instead of walking in already stressed trying to get the Curly Kids into their seats and make it up to the piano in time, we will be able to just find our seat and be together.  There will be no crying "I want to sit with you today!" or "my friends aren't here yet!".  I mean, yeah, we'll have our issues, I have no delusions that my children are going to become angels suddenly because they are sitting with me, but I think it will help.  They know what I expect of them.

And I think we're going to move up.  Because of Curly Boy's age, and then Curly Baby (Boy 2) being born, we've always set in the back.  But I think now we'll move up and sit with (or at least closer to) Mr. Curly.  He's usually on the front row and I don't know if I'm ready for that challenge!

What I love and hate about blogs

Did you know I LOVE to share?  My personal thoughts and feelings are what I'm discussing here.

I'm an interesting oxymoronic person.  I love to share, I do.  But I am extremely picky who I share with - I don't just open up to anyone. 

So it is interesting to see comments once I post a blog sharing contradicting thoughts.

While God had already talked to me about the "content one day, ranting the next" blogs I had been posting, I enjoyed my SIL's comment of "Go back and read your blog from a few days ago."

I find in life, and I'm told this happens to many people, that about the time you start telling people how happy you are to be doing something for God, you're reminded of all the things you wanted to do for yourself that still haven't been accomplished.
And I'm pretty sure that's what happened to me.

As I said here, I'm surprised to find how happy I am to be involved in area's of ministry I never thought I would do.
But there are so many other things I would like to do.

While I'm a little sad that in several years I will lose all my children to school 8 hours a day, I'm also kind of excited about what that will mean for me.  Free time to clean and keep things clean, time to cook meals that take more prep time than I usually have, maybe a part time job to have some fun money.  Or maybe I'll go back to school.  After all, I was supposed to get my master's after Mr. Curly got his, but then I got pregnant, and then we moved, and then I got pregnant, and we bought a house, and then I got pregnant and then we moved...

Needless to say, I won't be getting pregnant again.  It seems to bring on moves.

So for now, I focus on being content.  And writing my Sunday School and missions lessons.  And creating worship time for our church.  And keeping my house clean.  Which I've also blogged about recently.  I'm making decent progress on that list, for those who care.

So for those who read and comment, thank you.  And for those who read and pray for me, thank you.  And for those who read and scoff, or laugh, or have thoughts that they don't share, thank you.  At least I know I'm being read.

Growing in the ministry....

It must be my new found age, but I've found myself becoming quite content where life has led me.

Last week, Mr. Curly and I attended several days worth of district church meetings.  Tuesday I sat through a Nazarene Missions International meeting, and Wednesday we attended the annual District Assembly church meetings.

These meetings mean several worship services, lots of voting, many updates, and more information than I could possibly keep track of.

But the best thing I came home with was the feeling of pride, and being completely humbled, that I get to be part of the Nazarene church's ministry in Iowa.

See, I grew up a pastor's kid (most of you know).  And I married a pastor (which also, most of you know I said I would never do).  And for about 9 years now, I've been insisting that the ministry is Mr. Curly's ministry, not mine.  We're not a 2-for-1 deal.  He's the pastor, I'm just the wife.

But I've been teaching Sunday School for about a year, and leading worship for almost 2 months, and then I was elected Missions president.
Last Sunday I gave the message at church.  It was basically just a missions update, but I stood on the platform, in the preacher's spot, and shared what God put on my heart.

And it felt good.  It felt good to take part in Mr. Curly's church, to be part of his ministry.  Honestly, it felt RIGHT.  Like God had led me to it, that He had been preparing me for it.

It's strange to tell people happily that I'm leading worship - that's an idea I've fought against since I started taking piano lessons at 8 years old!  It's odd to say "yes, I'm the missions president - come to our next meeting, I've got the coolest things planned!"

After so many years of saying "I'm not in the ministry" it is odd to find myself pleased, humbled, proud, and having fun, being in the ministry.

God calls us all.... some of us just fight longer than others to find our place.

And we were singing.....

Soooo, I've started playing the piano at church.  After 8 years of lessons, and, um, well, 8 years of saying "I don't do worship team stuff" I'm a piano player!

I'm also helping choose the songs we sing each Sunday.

These are jobs where we needed somebody to fill in - where our beautiful pianist and husband had been doing our worship for many years and need time to simply enjoy worship rather than lead it, and so, here I am.  Now that Curly Baby is over a year, he can easily set with someone else during the worship time, Curly Boy likes to sit in the front row and watch me, and Curly Girl sits by herself in our pew coloring.
It's kind of awesome.

But now I feel this HUGE responsibility to give us a deep, meaningful worship time - to teach and encourage, to uplift and console.... it must be how Mr. Curly feels each Sunday morning when he steps up to preach.

I recently started reading a new blog, To Love, Honor and Vacuum, that I love, and she just posted this article yesterday about worship.  It will definitely be something I keep in mind.

One year....

No, not Curly Baby's birthday quite yet!

Today we celebrate the one year anniversary of moving to our new church in Iowa.

One year ago yesterday, I was cleaning out my desk, filing away the last paper, leaving notes for whoever would follow me, as I left my position as Program Assistant at the college I had worked at for just a little over a year.  I was leaving the official workforce to become a stay at home mom to (soon) 3 kids. 

One year ago today, we struggled through getting our rental truck, loaded up MOST of our possessions (I don't want to admit how many we left behind and had to go back for), trusted God would take care of the house-sale, and headed south.

Thankfully, because we had been commuting on weekends for 6 months, we had food, furniture and beds already at our new home.  Thankfully, because we knew people in town already, we were able to merely park the truck and sleep, knowing that the next day we'd have plenty of help in unloading our multitude of things.

Over the past year we've done the following things we had never done before:
Added to our family - Curly Baby arrived
Lost from our family - we lost our cat
Settled in as the new pastor family at our first established church
Joined local ministries and organizations outside our local church
Celebrated Ice Cream Days, watched a Christmas Light Parade
Sent Mr. Curly on week away to rest and relax and plan for the year ahead
Sent me to Vegas with my best friend
Built a fence
Added a swing set to our yard
Went to the Henry Dorley Zoo
It's amazing how that list sounds so normal, but has brought so many changes to our family.
We feel incredibly blessed to be here and can't wait to see what the next year brings!

Is it a new year yet?

So, yeah, wow. Curly Baby's first two months FLEW by, and I realized earlier this week I've been telling everybody he's 3 months old and he's not yet!

Technically our church's fiscal year began June 1. Personally, I feel as if last Wednesday night (July 6) began a new year for Mr. Curly and myself, or maybe just a new chapter in life?

Wednesday night Mr. Curly was officially ordained as an elder in the Church of the Nazarene. To be ordained you must complete 4 years of study, be a full time pastor for 3 years, obtain a local, then district minister's license and keep it current and go through a formal interview.

Wednesday night Mr. Curly was ordained by the same man who called my father to his first church, who was present at my father's ordination, who dedicated me and my brother when we were just babies.... Needless to say it was an incredibly awesome moment. The Iowa district superintendent even let my dad pray over Mr. Curly and I and our ministry even though Dad isn't a pastor on the Iowa district (though he is an ordained elder in the Church of the Nazarene and since we're all family the state doesn't really matter).

Wednesday night was the first ordination service I didn't fall asleep in. It was the first ordination service I sat through, listening to a great message and felt such an excitement to be part of Mr. Curly's ministry, part of a church family, part of a larger mission.

So while it isn't a new year on the calendar, and it isn't a new fiscal year, for me, it is a new year.

Do you play duets, Miss Bennet?

Of course, in the movie "Pride & Prejudice" the answer to the post title question is "only when forced."
My personal answer is "I can't play anything else."

Curly Boy and Girl LOVE to play piano with their mama. Which made it especially difficult for them yesterday morning when I went to the piano at church, and Mr. Curly made them stay in their pew.

As I sat down I could hear Curly Girl "I want to practice with Mama!" And Curly Boy just started wailing, almost louder than I could play.

But, I made it through "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen," my ode to the beginning of advent and my first special in about 5 years with little incident. As I walked down the aisle, Curly Girl yelled "Mama!" and everyone laughed.
And, Mr. Curly, bless his heart, as he took the platform and opened his Bible said "And that is why she doesn't play the piano every Sunday."

I enjoyed doing the special, but I love my Curly Babies more, and will gladly play duets and trios with them each day, until they are old enough to understand why Mama needs to sometimes play by herself.

We interupt this special announcement for another special announcement

So, wow, Sunday.

Mr. Curly sits with us each Sunday morning during the music part of worship. We set in the very last row against the wall. I would like to sit up closer, maybe not second row where I grew up, but closer. But right now, the last row gives Curly Girl room to dance during the singing, they can sit under the pew against the wall, throw the offering envelopes everywhere, or lay down and color without being cramped.

Anyway, at the last song, Mr. Curly goes up front to pray before the special music.

Yesterday, Curly Girl desperately wanted to go with him. He told her she had to stay with me, and she started to cry, no scratch that, make it, SCREAM. I pulled her on to my lap and tried to get her to calm down as Mr. Curly made his way up front.

"I'm thinking I should've let her come up with me." He laughed, and then began to make an announcement about the World Evangelism Fund offering we will be taking in a couple of weeks.

And suddenly, Curly Boy was gone. Walking up the middle aisle, grinning at each person he passed as he made his way to daddy. I put Curly Girl down and went after him. He made it to the platform before me. Mr. Curly picked him up with a grin, looked at me and said "Should we just tell them?"
I sighed. "Sure." And joined him on the platform, then called for Curly Girl.

She came running, accusing me of leaving her. I explained that I had to come get her brother, that I hadn't left her.

And Mr. Curly told the church we were pregnant. He ended it with "So on top of selling our home, if you could pray for the pregnancy too, we'd appreciate it." He then handed me Curly Boy, who promptly hit his head on Curly Girl's cheek, setting them both off screaming, and I marched down the center isle, down the stairs to the nursery.

After church everyone was very gracious and understanding of the screaming, rambunctious children we had that day. I don't know what was in their cereal but they did everything 150%!!

Still, they were good kids, just wanted their Daddy during church. We're still working on that. Maybe if I set closer and they could see him.... but then who knows how many people we would distract??

I'm a Sunday School Teacher!

So, since our new church doesn't have any kids the Curly Kids' ages, they didn't really have a Sunday School class for them. The kindergarten teacher had been teaching them for about the first month. This was super nice of her, but the lessons for 5-7 year olds are just a bit beyond the grasp of an 18 month old and a 3 year old.

And Curly Boy screamed every time we went down there, so I had to sit in the class. And after 3 weeks, Curly Girl started saying she would go to church, but not Sunday School. It was pretty mortifying, actually, and I felt really bad for the teacher.

So, we ordered material and Sunday, Oct. 31, I taught my first Sunday School class!

This is something I always wanted to do in middle school, but since all kids hated me until my own were born, I never really had the chance.

I had a great time decorating the room on Saturday, and probably spent too much money doing it, but oh well.

The lesson was "Jesus loves me." Pretty simple. Tell the kids Jesus loves them, talk about the story in Matthew 19:14. Sing the song "Jesus loves the little children" and "Jesus loves me." Only, Curly Girl didn't believe Jesus loved her. She kept saying no.

The Sunday School book had a punch out picture of Jesus with foldable arms. According to the book, this was so Jesus could hug each child in the room. Curly Boy thought it was hilarious to have Jesus hug his nose, but Curly Girl wasn't so thrilled.. So, getting creative, I cut out two figures - one blue for a little boy, and one red for a little girl. And I showed these to Curly Girl and Boy, and made the Jesus picture hug the figures and said "See, Jesus loves these little children so much he's giving them big hugs. Jesus loves all the little children, especially you two."
I then set the pictures down on the table and pulled out some construction paper hearts for the kids to write their names on (I helped Curly Boy) and decorate with stickers so we could hang them on the wall.

When Curly Girl was done with hers, she picked up the paper figures, and had Jesus hug the little paper children and said "Jesus loves them, he's hugging them. Jesus loves all little kids."

I was so proud!
Now, she couldn't repeat the lesson to Mr. Curly that night, but at least I found a way to get it through to her then. And Curly Boy just had a good time using sticky-tak to put hearts on the wall.

We'll see what happens next week when the lesson is "Thank you, God, for my family!"



Oh, and I'll post pictures of the room, hopefully next week!